Losing is an inevitable part of competition. Understanding our athletic failures--as they may be called by some--gives us a broader perspective of racing. Poor performance creates broad ranges of emotion. Race reports help athletes recover from said experiences. Writing provides therapy for a broken spirit. Poor performance can mean a lot of things, since its not just about winning the race. A good performance just means the athlete raced to their ability.
Sea Otter (SOC) began five months ago for me. Doing well at Sea Otter means earning a spot at MTB Nationals in Granby, Colorado. I started training promptly after the last Pilarcitos race, in mid-December. After wins at Boggs and NVDC, I felt hope for victory at SOC.
Everything went great on race day. From food, to warm up, to how my legs felt, all signs pointed to victory. I even had a great start. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself and never recovered. Climbing was horrible. I felt weak and unable to turn over the pedals. For the first ten miles I was determined to keep trying. Every time I punched the gas, the engine sputtered and coughed refusing to turn over. At mile ten I let off, sat up a little and resigned to enjoying the rest of my mountain bike ride. I just didn’t have it.
A terrible sadness started seeping into my mind, and honestly I just wanted to sit on the side of the trail and start crying. Sports-(wo)manship prevented me from stopping. Being a good sports-woman means applauding the winners and all those that placed before you. Someone has to be last in a race, and on this day it seemed like my turn to take the place. I wondered if I had not done Boggs, would my results been better today? No. I would never give up my victory with my teammate at Boggs. I wouldn’t sacrifice Boggs for Sea Otter.The mental battles we face on the trail and how they mirror our daily lives has been a motivator for me to continue racing. On the bike, we face our own demons. When our race doesn’t pan out the way we planned, its easy to throw a tantrum (I’ve seen many grown men and women do just that, I’ve done it). Anger, disappointment and blame are all easy outs. The challenge changes from winning to fighting these demons. The struggle goes beyond the sadness associated with so-called failure.
I believe that its normal and acceptable to feel sad and disappointed poor results at an important race--just as winning is not normal. Extraordinary means overcoming our disappointment and moving on to the next challenge. We take what can be learned, apply it, try again, and never allow this one performance to crack the belief we hold in ourselves. Again, overcoming so-called failure isn’t the status quo, its not the expected, its the extraordinary. I believe that when THEY say “have the heart of a champion” THEY are saying the athlete strives for the extraordinary even in failure. I have walked away from Sea Otter with an understanding that even though I failed, I can still strive for excellence through my ability to cope with disappointment. That is what I have learned from the Church of Bike.
Garmin Geekery:
